Remember how much I hate being pregnant? Fortunately, I am nearing the end of the road, with just a month left to go. And I truly can not wait to meet this little girl. I just wish she wasn't upside down!
That's right – this baby is breech. Which explains all that kicking to my bladder. And also puts a wrinkle in my plans for a fast recovery.
I know a C-section isn't the end of the world – and of course I am happy to do whatever is best for the baby. But having had a regular birth the first time I was really looking forward to knowing what to expect and doing things the old-fashioned way (if old-fashioned means being induced after a heavy epidural.
So now I am trying to get her to flip on her own. Posing on hands and knees and using acupuncture and moxibustion to try to get the baby to turn. So far, no dice. I have also read about playing music and shining a flashlight down by my vagina, which sounds even more absurd than buring these sticks of charcoal by my feet every night.
The next step is an external cephalic version, which I understand to be extremely painful and only moderately successful. I saw this fun exercise on a recent episode of Call the Midwife, and it looks pretty excruciating.
If it does come down to a C-section, my main concerns are:
- Not being able to bond with the baby right away. I'm not sure exactly what happens in these cases, but I've heard they take the baby away for a little while before you can nurse?
- Longer recover – and longer until I can exercise again, which is something I truly need for my sanity.
- Destroying my abdominal muscles and never being able to wear a two-piece bathing suit again (don't act like I'm the only mother with a bit of vanity).
- Longer hospital stay. I may be paying $400 per night for a private room, and at four nights that will be a freaking fortune.
That said, I suppose there is always a silver lining:
- No laboring and quick delivery.
- Keep vagina intact.
Right now I feel like my odds of a C-section are about 50 percent. There is still time for the baby to flip and for treatments to work. And, honestly, at this point I will just be so happy to have the baby out, I won't care if she comes out of my ear.
Did your baby flip? Flip and then flip back? Come out of your vagina sideways? Do share.
Paige Wolf is a Philadelphia mom and author of Spit That Out! The Overly Informed Parent’s Guide to Raising Children in the Age of Environmental Guilt. This post is adapted from her blog, Spit That Out! 
