{"id":5739,"date":"2013-06-24T13:11:00","date_gmt":"2013-06-24T13:11:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.metrokids.com\/index.php\/2013\/06\/24\/teach-your-kids-to-be-self-reliant\/"},"modified":"2023-08-16T20:03:57","modified_gmt":"2023-08-16T20:03:57","slug":"teach-your-kids-to-be-self-reliant","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.metrokids.com\/teach-your-kids-to-be-self-reliant\/","title":{"rendered":"Teach Your Kids to Be Self-Reliant"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\n\tWe want our children to develop self-reliance and independence, yet if we are not mindful in our parenting, we can hinder their ability to do so. Frequently we do too much, fail to step aside and become overprotective helicopter parents, hovering in the name of love.<\/p>\n<p>\n\tFor autonomy to develop, parents must be intentional about providing opportunities. As children gain experience and successfully (or unsuccessfully) practice independence, they learn personal responsibility. They figure out how to negotiate bumps in the road, bullies, stressful circumstances and everyday frustrations. They make mistakes. They grow up to be self-reliant, better equipped to tackle grownup life.<\/p>\n<h3>\n\tPreschool self-reliance checklist<\/h3>\n<p>\n\tParenting coach Shelly Birger Phillips believes autonomy building begins simply with a speedy home inventory. Take stock of your space to see if your preschooler can navigate your home independently. If you answer &ldquo;no&rdquo; to any of the following questions, revamping a room with kids&rsquo; self-reliance in mind is a relatively quick and inexpensive prospect.<\/p>\n<h5>\n\tHallway or foyer<\/h5>\n<div class=\"small-sidebar-right\">\n<p>\n\t\t<strong>Are You a Helicopter Parent?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\n\t\t&ldquo;Parents often tend to do things for their children in order to help them, to hurry things up or because they are under the misconception that their child will not be able to accomplish the task alone,&rdquo; writes author Nadine Descheaux, identifying the following &quot;helicopter parent&quot; attitudes and behaviors that may be detrimental to the development of autonomy:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n\t\t\tOverprotecting your child<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\t\tConstantly repeating instructions<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\t\tConstantly attending your child&rsquo;s extracurricular activities<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\t\tConstantly supervising your child&rsquo;s group activities<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\t\tHaving difficulty letting your child work in his own fashion<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\t\tHaving a tendency to solve problems between your children<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\t\tWorrying when your child is away from you<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>\n\t\tIs there a low hook near the front or back door where he can hang his coat up by himself?<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tWhat about a kid-sized bench where she can put shoes on and take them off?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5>\n\tKid&rsquo;s room<\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li>\n\t\tCan he access clothes in a closet or chest of drawers solo?<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tIs there a reachable hamper?<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tA full-length mirror hung at kid-height for grooming?<img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" class=\"left-justify-pic\" src=\"\/content\/uploads\/data-import\/fa875f85\/Autonomy204.jpg\" \/><\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tAre toys, books, games, art supplies and stuffed animals within his grasp? (Hint: Small bins containing a few items each provide easier access than large, overfilled bins.)<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tIs the room equipped with a reading chair that fits her body?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5>\n\tKitchen<\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li>\n\t\tCan he easily access drinking water, snacks, dishes and cups?<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tIs there a stepstool around to encourage cooking help, like measuring, scooping and stirring.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h5>\n\tBathroom<img decoding=\"async\" alt=\"\" class=\"right-justify-pic\" src=\"\/content\/uploads\/data-import\/fa875f85\/Autonomy203.jpg\" \/><\/h5>\n<ul>\n<li>\n\t\tIs there another stepstool that makes using the toilet and washing hands safe and easy?<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tIs the towel rack hung low enough for her to reach?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>\n\t&nbsp;Independence for older children<\/h3>\n<p>\n\tOnce children start going to school, they become accustomed to doing more for themselves. Keep the independence rolling with these tips to promote self-reliance in elementary- and middle-school kids.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>\n\t\tIntroduce age-appropriate chores and responsibilities, such as caring for a pet.<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tAvoid solving his problems. Instead, help him think up his own solutions and make his own choices.<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tExpect her to rise to small challenges, like making a phone call for herself.<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\tModel and teach good skills for coping with stress.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>\n\tBear in mind, children make many mistakes on the road to developing autonomy. When they do, Elisa Medhus, author of <em>Raising Children Who Can Think for Themselves<\/em>, reminds us &ldquo;to never nag, threaten or label when they don&rsquo;t come through on their responsibilities.&rdquo; On the other hand, be sure to remark when they succeed &mdash; and before you know it they&rsquo;ll be the model of a self-reliant do-it-yourself kid.<\/p>\n<p>\n\t<em>Michele Ranard has a husband, two children and a Master&rsquo;s in counseling.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Organize your home so kids can do things for themselves and help them build autonomy and self-reliance. Plus, find out if you&#8217;re a helicopter parent.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5741,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5119,537,4,521],"tags":[16352,7913,16337,16333,16349,16353,16339,16340,16335,16342,16344,16343,16351,16346,16345,16341,16348,16350,4668,16338,16334,16347,16336],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Teach Your Kids to Be Self-Reliant - Metrokids<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Organize your home so kids can do things for themselves and help them build autonomy and self-reliance. 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