Drop the Guilt

If you are a mom, you probably often assume the role of feeling guilt . . . constantly . . .

If you work outside the home, you feel guilty for sending your kids to childcare. If you stay home with the kids, you feel guilty because you think you may be able to contribute more financially if you worked outside the home. When you walk past the organic aisle at the grocery store you feel guilty for not giving your kids organic food, yet if you shop all organic you feel guilty for having a high grocery bill. 

Why do we do this to ourselves? When are we going to start thinking like a man and just accept ourselves and the decisions we make and start being nicer to ourselves?

Recently, I started feeling guilty because I have been wanting to wake up earlier to start my day yet I haven't been able to make it happen. I talked to my therapist about it and she said, "Well, if you want to wake up earlier then you need to take off time in the evening for sleep and reorganize your day."  After she said that I shifted my thinking and asked myself if it's REALLY something I wanted, then I accepted things for the moment without feeling guilty. 

Every decision that we make in our lives is based on facts, evaluation and looking at other options. Once we make the decision, why not trust and let go? In addition, we tell our children to be kind to others (and even themselves), yet we are our own worst enemy. Why? 

We have choices. If you're feeling guilty about not staying home with your children (for instance), make a list of the pros and cons of each situation ,then remember that you have choices. Remember all the things you are able to provide because you've made the decision to work, and then accept yourself and the choices you've made. If that's not acceptable to you, start a plan to make a change. But for today, be proud of the choices you've made and accept yourself fully . . . without the guilt!!

Toni Langdon is a stay-at-home mom of two daughters and an in-home child care provider. She is a black belt in martial arts and has worked with Chester County, PA children with special needs. This post is adapted from her blog, Tickles & Time Outs.

Categories: MomSpeak