Candy on a roll

It’s that time of year again, when you can raid your kids’ Halloween buckets to search for mini Twix, Snickers, and, yay, sour Lifesavers – jackpot! Sneaky crinkling of foil, discreet hiding of candy wrappers in the kitchen garbage – it’s October, the beginning of the most wonderful time of the year, where reason goes out the door and good intentions get shelved.

Miniature madness

While I can never quite justify eating a full-size Snickers bar, my favorite, I don’t seem to have a problem with popping half a dozen of the miniature variety come October 31. In fact, I buy them in bulk to hand out on the big night, together with an assortment of Twix and Reese’s. The candy bags usually get opened up a few nights before the 31 so the kids can have some as a treat. Come on. Who am I kidding? Mom & Dad need a desert too. We call it “Nachtisch” in my house, which literally translates into “after table” from German. Germans know a thing or two about indulging one’s sweet tooth after dinner. Coffee and cake reign on any given Sunday afternoon.

Right, so let’s blame my cultural background for the lack of control and subsequent sugar frenzy. The cauldron brimming with sweets is just a hop, skip and jump away, with a straight shot for my hips, but that’s what the elliptical machine upstairs is for — indulge now. Pay later. It’s all in the name of preserving my cultural heritage, right?

It rhymes with footsie

Back to eating (some of the) candy. I have a beef with a certain candy that rhymes with footsie. (Ugh, that just made my stomach turn.) I realize it’s a classic, so I’m proceeding with caution here (no names). I think they are cheap. There. I’m the kind of mom who looks at the brown glob of sugar and says “seriously?” in its face, holds it at arm’s length, and wills a response by adding “come on.” If you are still with me, thank you. And don’t worry. I do hold a day job; I don’t actually talk to candy bars. But I just don’t get its dated font and archaic color pallet. Ahhh. That was liberating.

I don’t buy them, ever. If I want to enjoy some undiluted corn syrup, partially hydrogenated, and with hip-boosting goodness, I’d rather have a peanut or two thrown in for good measure.

There are a number of FB pages lauding this candy. It’s a classic that has been around since 1896 — who knew? I even briefly considered conducting a highly unscientific survey at work through Microsoft Outlook voting buttons to test its popularity, but then I actually had work to do, and the candy research got shelved.

OK, it’s an icon

I realize that this little rant is likely a slap in the face of the true candy connoisseur. It’s an iconic treat in our kids’ Halloween buckets. It’s the first thing they catch at the Independence Day parade, or the King Frost Parade, by the armful. For all I know, it’s the “Great Pumpkin” equivalent of the season, the Cinderella of all costumes. For me, it’s the 1$ bin at Target — cute, cheap, done, moving on.

All ranting aside, happy Halloween, moms! Candy is front and center for my kids, of course. But the best part of all, for me, is watching my guys walk ahead of me, holding hands, and vying for front row access to the next door. It melts my heart to see them in their costumes and carry their little buckets. Nothing’s sweeter than that.

Marion Kase is a Berks County, PA mom of a preschooler and a 4th grader. This post was adopted from her blog, Helicopter-Caterpillar.

Categories: MomSpeak