3 Tips for Mom Accountability
Ugh, Tax Day — the annual deadline for government-mandated financial accountability gets us thinking about personal accountability. MomSpeaker Toni Langdon here shares three easy-to-adopt ways she holds herself accountable and why these simple tasks are so important to her.
How do you hold yourself accountable?
Accountability is very important to me. I want to hold myself accountable to be an awesome parent, Christian, daughter, sister, girlfriend and even a great blogger. As a single mother, I often find that I'm the only one that can hold myself accountable. (I take that back, my kids will hold me accountable often!) I will sometimes ask a family member (or even the childcare provider) how I can do things better when the going gets tough, because I want to grow and do the right thing.
To me, accountability is about integrity. It's about getting up at 6am when I can barely drag myself out of bed because I need to get things prepared for my kids.
- It's about working out when I feel lazy because my kids deserve a healthy mom and God gave me a body I need to take care of.
- It's about going to church because it's what I believe is the right thing.
- It's about not yelling at my kids even though I'm so exhausted and don't have one ounce of patience left in my body.
- It's about getting down on my kids' level, looking them in the eye and telling them what I need from them.
- It's about being honest with myself about who I really am and what I REALLY need.
- It's about surrounding myself with the right people even if it means saying no to someone I love.
- It's about making that call about a bill that I keep putting off.
- It's about making sure I'm on time for things.
Being accountable is about making all those little decisions on a daily basis that add up to my overall integrity/goals. It's always easy to see what other people could be doing better, but how do you look in the mirror and take responsibility for your own actions? Martial arts really helped me learn to hold myself accountable and I wrote about here.
- Write a journal. I've learned through challenging times like divorce and layoffs to really listen to my heart. I've asked people for advice who really have no idea about blogging or what's truly deep in my heart. If I barely know what I want or need, how is someone else going to know? Journaling is a great way to uncover some of your truths and develop a friendship with the person that matters most: you.
- Ask friends and family. I know this contradicts #1, but hear me out. There are many times when we need to listen to how our actions affect other people, and that may mean asking them for their opinion. If you have people in your life whom you respect and trust, ask them what you could do differently.
- Write goals. After you uncover your truths in your journal, writing goals is what makes things happen. If your goal is to lose weight (for example), I encourage you to write down a plan and start thinking of yourself as a healthier person. Then write out a clear plan for how you are going to make that happen. Personally, I try to complete about 85% of my goals and allow myself some wiggle room for mistakes.
For me, I know that I'm likely to get depressed and/or sick when my choices are not lining up with my goals and values. I need to know when I put my head on the pillow at night that MOST of my choices are good ones.
Now it's your turn . . . how do you hold yourself accountable?
Toni Langdon is a single mom of two daughters living in Chester County, PA. Toni is a nonstop mom juggling work, parenting and life. She brings a unique perspective while having a black belt in martial arts, a love for fashion and a passion for giving back. This post is adapted from her blog Tickles and Time Outs.