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Jul 15, 2013
06:00 AM
MomSpeak

Things Not to Do, Ever

Things Not to Do, Ever

This week has been one of learning. Most of these go without saying, but in case you are drunk, confused or simply impulsive, here's my go-to list of things not to do, ever:

 

 

  1. Be the parent who is smoking a cigarette in the school parking lot.
  2. Brag out loud about cheating on your spouse.
  3. Take a picture of someone bragging out loud about cheating on their spouse.
  4. Take pictures of people who are not you and make those pictures go viral.
  5. Get your picture taken with a testicle mascot named Mr. Balls.
  6. Sit with strangers at a banquet and then take strangers' wine and begin offering wine to others, as if you brought it.
  7. Refer to your children as the "the cancerous one and the other one." Or as "the fat one and the skinny one."
  8. Tweet about pleasuring oneself.
  9. RSVP to an event as a "maybe, not sure if something better might pop up. Will have to weigh my options."
  10. Give your hyper, misbehaving child candy in an effort to "keep them awake."

Because, really, if they are smacking my kid and throwing stuff on the floor, they are clearly already awake.

Trish Adkins is a South Jersey mom. This post is adapted from blog, Yoke.

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About This Blog

Outstanding Delaware Valley mom bloggers share insights about their kids or themselves, family experiences or ways they handled parenting situations. Their items — often reposted from their blogs — reflect everyday experiences that anyone can relate to rather than political viewpoints or belief systems.

MomSpeak Contributors

Trish Adkins, Yoke
Jennifer Auer, Jersey Family Fun
Stacy Heenan Biscardi, Wifty & Shifty
Hillary Chybinski, My Scraps
EJ Curran, Four Little Monsters
Darla DeMorrow, The Pregnant Entrepreneur
Rachée Fagg, Say It Rah-Shay
Raya Fagg, And Starring As Herself…MRSRFKJ
Erin Flynn Jay, Mastering the Mommy Track
Marion Kase, Helicopter-Caterpillar
Jean Ladden, Jean's Book Reviews
Brie Latini, ( . . . a breezy life)
Toni Langdon, Tickles and Time Outs
Lisa Lightner, A Day in Our Shoes
Jeanine Ludwikowski, Mommy Entourage
Jeanne McCullough, Mom Hearts Pinot
Trina O'Boyle, O’Boy! Organic
Kelly Raudenbush, My Overthinking
Sandra Telep, West Philly Mama
Marissa Kiepert Truong, Land of Once Upon a Time
Lisa Weinstein, The Mixed Up Brains of Lisa Weinstein
Shivaun Williams, Dar Liomsa (In My Opinion)
Paige Wolf, Spit That Out!

If you are a Philadelphia-area mom blogger and would like to contribute to MomSpeak, please e-mail editor@metrokids.com.

 

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