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Dec 25, 2013
06:00 AM
MomSpeak

Home for the Holidays

Home for the Holidays

The kids and I are in Pittsburgh. We got here the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and plan to be here through December. That's a long time to be living with my parents and siblings. What made me think this was a good idea?

My dad is sick. He's doing OK, considering. There have been no dramatic changes — for the better or for the worse. Still, I found myself wishing I was here rather than back in Philly.

I would talk to my mom on the phone and I could hear that she was feeling overwhelmed. I'd talk to my dad and I'd spend half the conversation trying to keep the kids quiet in the background.

I'd ask my mom if I should come home — she'd assure me that I didn't need to. I realized that I didn't want to wait until I "needed" to come home. I wanted to be here. I wanted to spend time with my family. If our time left together is short, I'll always wish I'd made the time to come home. If our time extends on indefinitely, I'll never regret prioritizing my family.

Even though I was wanting to be in Pittsburgh, I felt like I couldn't because of commitments in Philly. It's where our life is, so of course the calendar kept filling up and I take my responsibilities (including volunteer ones) seriously. But I'm in a unique position at this point in my life. I don't have an out-of-the-home job. The kids aren't in school. My existing commitments are flexible and very accommodating. Why not go home? Stay a while. Sit on the couch and chat with my dad. So I cleared my calendar.

I realize that we aren't exactly a big help. I bring two rowdy kids with me. We displace my brother from his room. We take up space and resources. I can't be all that helpful because I'm usually wrangling the kids and I can't drive. Soooooo . . . I'm not here because I think I'm needed. I just want to be here.

My goals are to help when I can (I can feed my dad, keep him company and do a few things around the house), spend time with my dad and the rest of the family, and try to make the holiday season bright for the kids. Simple. Important. The whole point of the holidays.

Sandra Telep is a West Philadelphia mom of two. This post is adapted from her blog, West Philly Mama.

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About This Blog

Outstanding Delaware Valley mom and dad bloggers share insights about their kids or themselves, family experiences or ways they handled parenting situations. Their items — often reposted from their blogs — reflect everyday experiences that anyone can relate to rather than political viewpoints or belief systems.

MomSpeak Contributors

Trish Adkins, Yoke
Jennifer Auer, Jersey Family Fun
Chris Bernholdt, DadNCharge
Stacy Heenan Biscardi, Wifty & Shifty
Hillary Chybinski, My Scraps
EJ Curran, Four Little Monsters
Darla DeMorrow, The Pregnant Entrepreneur
Rachée Fagg, Say It Rah-Shay
Raya Fagg, And Starring As Herself…MRSRFKJ
Erin Flynn Jay, Mastering the Mommy Track
Marion Kase, Helicopter-Caterpillar
Jean Ladden, Jean's Book Reviews
Brie Latini, ( . . . a breezy life)
Toni Langdon, Tickles and Time Outs
Lisa Lightner, A Day in Our Shoes
Jeanine Ludwikowski, Mommy Entourage
Jeanne McCullough, Mom Hearts Pinot
Trina O'Boyle, O’Boy! Organic
Kelly Raudenbush, My Overthinking
Lindsey Schuster, Sisters to Sons
Sandra Telep, West Philly Mama
Marissa Kiepert Truong, Land of Once Upon a Time
Lisa Weinstein, The Mixed Up Brains of Lisa Weinstein
Shivaun Williams, Dar Liomsa (In My Opinion)
Paige Wolf, Spit That Out!

If you are a Philadelphia-area parenting blogger and would like to contribute to MomSpeak, please e-mail editor@metrokids.com.

 

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