Sep 12, 2012
Call me crazy: why I'm trying for number two
Despite all the impracticalities — lack of space, lack of money, potential for complications or simply a colicky, bad-tempered baby — we’ve decided to try for a second child.
Don’t hold your breath — I still have to take out my hormone-inducing IUD which has left me without a period for four years and quite possibly mitigated all the toxin-free living I’ve been doing. (See my post on why I still take medications here.) But if my body can still produce a healthy egg, we could be announcing my pregnancy in a matter of months.
For a while we thought we may be “one and done.” We got lucky with Sam. He was an awesome baby— slept like an angel and still does. And despite being a bit rough as a preschooler, he’s still smart, funny, and cute as a button. I am still allowed plenty of sleep, time to work, and time for myself. In fact, in the time since I’ve had Sam, I actually accomplished more than I had before getting pregnant the first time. I wrote a book. I started blogging and created an outlet for writing that I desperately needed. I started CrossFit and began working out more and getting in the best shape of my life. I bake my own bread and tend a somewhat fruitless urban garden.
Why would I chance screwing all that up?
Certainly not from pressure from my family, who seem to think only a suburban housewife can handle more than one child. There’s no pressure from my friends, many of whom are happily childless. And society doesn’t put the kind of pressure on women to procreate that existed 30 years ago.
My husband and I both know in our heads that having another child is risky and impractical, and could likely throw our lives into a turmoil. Honestly, it scares the hell out of both of us. But in our hearts, we feel there is a missing piece of the puzzle.
Julia Sugarbaker's words
As the case often is, it was the words of Designing Women’s Julia Sugarbaker that helped solidify my decision. (What, you don’t take the words of a fictional middle-aged Southern woman in the 1980s as gold?) She said that her only regret in life was not having another child because she was scared. And I don’t ever want to be ruled by fear.
In the words of another famous woman, as I believe this quote was originally attributed to Lucille Ball, “I would rather regret what I have done than what I have not done.” But, truly, no matter how bad things get, could I ever really regret having another child.
Unless, of course, I get pregnant with twins. In which case, I’m pretty much screwed.
Paige Wolf is a Philadelphia mom and author of Spit That Out! The Overly Informed Parent’s Guide to Raising Children in the Age of Environmental Guilt. This post is adapted from her blog, Spit That Out!