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Mar 29, 2013
06:00 AM
MomSpeak

Mom's bucket list

Mom's bucket list
  • Been thrown up on
  • Been locked out of the house by the kids
  • Tended a skinned knee while cringing and feeling faint by the sight of blood
  • Read a book to them using funny voices
  • Hid from the kids to get a moment’s peace
  • Forgotten to put money from the tooth fairy under their pillow
  • Told them Chuck E. Cheese wasn’t open, so you didn’t have to go
  • Claimed having no change for those ridiculous amusement rides in the mall
  • Snuck vegetables into a dish via puree or shreds
  • Pawned off a challenging/embarrassing question posed by the kids to your spouse
  • Fed them popcorn or pancakes for dinner
  • Caught yourself watching or listening to a kids’ program or music or brushing a doll’s hair without realizing the kids aren’t with you
  • “Borrowed” money from the kids
  • Skipped pages in a book you read to them EVERY SINGLE night, and hope they don’t notice
  • Forget your camera for an important event or milestone but have a million goofy candids
  • Washed the floor only to have a kid spill something on it that very day
  • Red juice on white carpet – Enough said
  • Send your child to school/daycare without realizing he/she has a fever
  • Settled for a Pajama Day because you just don’t feel like getting dressed or dressing them
  • Kept the kids up just a little longer because you’ll miss them
  • Sent the kids to bed earlier because you desperately needed a break
  • Forget to brush their teeth
  • Hide a noisy toy because it’s driving you crazy
  • Bribed them to stop a temper tantrum in the supermarket
  • Hid somewhere so you could consume a favorite, coveted snack without pleas and demands to share
  • Used them as an excuse not to go somewhere or do something
  • Dressed your kids in stained clothing or poorly for the weather, hoping no one will notice
  • Stepped or tripped over a toy, nearly maiming or straining yourself
  • Spent a sleepless night with your child
  • Put a diaper on incorrectly and realized too late…ahem, accident
  • Bought your daughter/son an expensive outfit/toy he/she didn’t need because it was so adorable/cool
  • Missed the kids’ school bus
  • Skipped a meal because you forgot or were too busy with the kids
  • Survived a public meltdown
  • Were critiqued by another parent or adult who thought they were being “helpful”
  • “Stole” your kids’ holiday candy because that Twix bar looked irresistible
  • Forgotten to make their lunch or give them lunch money
  • Waited and waited for your overeager child to go to sleep so Santa could come
  • Cursed or said something you shouldn’t and heard them repeat it later
  • Had your most embarrassing flaw pointed out and announced to the world
  • They caught you and your spouse…you know!
  • Endured going to the bathroom with the door open and a kid audience
  • Hid their favorite clothing that they stubbornly wore for days and refused to let you wash despite the dirt and stains
  • Fell asleep while playing a kids’ board game
  • Not fully explaining why your goldfish is doing the “Dead Man’s Float”
  • Fudged the time so a game would end or a nap could begin or you’ve had enough of monitoring them outside
  • Pretended you were tired but, really, you wanted to be by yourself
  • Let them run around with dirty faces and no shoes
  • Found your child playing in your make-up – smushed lipstick and dangerous mascara wand included
  • Innocently allowed your child to play with your phone/computer and discovered they’ve accidentally called Thailand or downloaded a scary-looking porn site
  • Understood the homework less than they do
  • Had your child mistaken for the wrong gender
  • Hearing claims that your child looks exactly like you, and you just don’t see it
  • Allowed the kids to watch excessive amounts of TV because you needed to get something done or needed a break
  • Expressed indignation when someone constructively critiqued your child
  • Couldn’t wait for a toy to break so you could throw it out
  • Expressed a sigh of relief when the bus arrived or grandma came by to pick up the kids
  • Embarrassed your child in public
  • Let them win
  • Finished your child’s food because you were hungry or didn’t want to waste it

*If you can check off more than one of these, CONGRATULATIONS, you’re a REAL MOM and fulfilled your parenting obligations.

M.B. Sanok is a South Jersey mom and a blogger for JerseyMomsBlog, where this post originated.

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About This Blog

Outstanding Delaware Valley mom bloggers share insights about their kids or themselves, family experiences or ways they handled parenting situations. Their items — often reposted from their blogs — reflect everyday experiences that anyone can relate to rather than political viewpoints or belief systems.

MomSpeak Contributors

Trish Adkins, Yoke
Jennifer Auer, Jersey Family Fun
Stacy Heenan Biscardi, Wifty & Shifty
Hillary Chybinski, My Scraps
EJ Curran, Four Little Monsters
Darla DeMorrow, The Pregnant Entrepreneur
Rachée Fagg, Say It Rah-Shay
Raya Fagg, And Starring As Herself…MRSRFKJ
Erin Flynn Jay, Mastering the Mommy Track
Marion Kase, Helicopter-Caterpillar
Jean Ladden, Jean's Book Reviews
Brie Latini, ( . . . a breezy life)
Toni Langdon, Tickles and Time Outs
Lisa Lightner, A Day in Our Shoes
Jeanine Ludwikowski, Mommy Entourage
Jeanne McCullough, Mom Hearts Pinot
Trina O'Boyle, O’Boy! Organic
Kelly Raudenbush, My Overthinking
Sandra Telep, West Philly Mama
Marissa Kiepert Truong, Land of Once Upon a Time
Lisa Weinstein, The Mixed Up Brains of Lisa Weinstein
Shivaun Williams, Dar Liomsa (In My Opinion)
Paige Wolf, Spit That Out!

If you are a Philadelphia-area mom blogger and would like to contribute to MomSpeak, please e-mail editor@metrokids.com.

 

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