Available Now
MetroKids
Bookmark and Share Email this page Email Print this page Print Edit Module
Jul 9, 2012
06:29 AM
MomSpeak

Love and Photography

Love and Photography

I was never sure if I wanted to be a mother. I was on my own for so long and fiercely independent. And if we are being honest, I was just plain selfish.

However, when I met my future husband, those ideas quickly changed. Much to my disbelief, I had found someone that made me want to be and do more — including having children. But even as we announced our pregnancy to family, I questioned my ability to be selfless and love unconditionally the way a mother should. It wasn’t until we had a small scare at her birth and she was not immediately handed over to me that I knew my every thought, emotion and action from here on out would be about her.

Since my daughter’s birth, I have documented her growth in a series of photos. For the first 12 months I dutifully posed her in a chair, with a doll and tiara. I had planned to do this every month until the day she flew from our nest – a thought that even now, at a mere four years old, brings a tear to my eye.

Early on, I envisioned this series of photos as a way for her to look back and realize how much I adore her. For the first year I documented her growth without fail. Even when she would not sit still and the photos were blurry and recorded more tantrums than development we soldiered through. But as projects in our house have a tendency to do, this one fell to the wayside. The monthly photo shoots turned to bi-monthly, then quarterly and finally, if I remembered amidst our busy schedule, bi-annually.

With each month that passed, I felt as if I had somehow failed her. I had failed to document how much I adore this child — the child that, until she was just moments from being in my arms, I had no idea that I had the capacity to love someone this much. I want so desperately to record her every moment. When her father and I are gone, I want her to know with certainty that she was loved and valued.

And it was quite a shock to realize that all of photos in the world will not fill her with that validation.

It will be all of those moments that I forgot to bring the camera or the time I left my iPhone in the car and didn’t post the trip to the zoo to Facebook. It will be in the moment that I didn’t tweet the funny toddler-ism. She will know she is loved by the time I spend with her outside of the view of the lens. When I am gone, my daughter will know that she was loved by the memories we made, not by the photographs.

Yes, it is disappointing that I could not keep up with such a simple project. But I console myself with the fact that I am keeping up with a much greater one.

Kelly Jopson-Brown is a New Castle, DE mom. Read her blog, The Turnip Farmer, at www.TheTurnipFarmer.com or follow her on Twitter @mommabrown08.

Jul 9, 2012 09:29 am
 Posted by  Cindudas

Beautiful. You are absolutely right. :-)

Add your comment:
Edit Module
Advertisement
Edit Module

About This Blog

Outstanding Delaware Valley mom and dad bloggers share insights about their kids or themselves, family experiences or ways they handled parenting situations. Their items — often reposted from their blogs — reflect everyday experiences that anyone can relate to rather than political viewpoints or belief systems.

MomSpeak Contributors

Trish Adkins, Yoke
Jennifer Auer, Jersey Family Fun
Chris Bernholdt, DadNCharge
Stacy Heenan Biscardi, Wifty & Shifty
Hillary Chybinski, My Scraps
EJ Curran, Four Little Monsters
Darla DeMorrow, The Pregnant Entrepreneur
Rachée Fagg, Say It Rah-Shay
Raya Fagg, And Starring As Herself…MRSRFKJ
Erin Flynn Jay, Mastering the Mommy Track
Marion Kase, Helicopter-Caterpillar
Jean Ladden, Jean's Book Reviews
Brie Latini, ( . . . a breezy life)
Toni Langdon, Tickles and Time Outs
Lisa Lightner, A Day in Our Shoes
Jeanine Ludwikowski, Mommy Entourage
Jeanne McCullough, Mom Hearts Pinot
Trina O'Boyle, O’Boy! Organic
Kelly Raudenbush, My Overthinking
Lindsey Schuster, Sisters to Sons
Sandra Telep, West Philly Mama
Marissa Kiepert Truong, Land of Once Upon a Time
Lisa Weinstein, The Mixed Up Brains of Lisa Weinstein
Shivaun Williams, Dar Liomsa (In My Opinion)
Paige Wolf, Spit That Out!

If you are a Philadelphia-area parenting blogger and would like to contribute to MomSpeak, please e-mail editor@metrokids.com.

 

Edit ModuleShow Tags

More on this topic »Mom Matters

Mommy Blogs

Mommy Blogs

MK's mommy bloggers share why they find the act of online journaling so rewarding.

Edit ModuleShow Tags

More on this topic »Mom's Health

How Much Alcohol Is Too Much

How Much Alcohol Is Too Much

More moms than ever are binge drinking. How much alcohol is too much? Plus, where to seek help in the Delaware Valley.

Edit ModuleShow Tags

MK Memo

MK Memo: Moms Know
Spring Break Water Safety

Spring Break Water Safety

3 tips on building kids' swim skills and water safety on your spring break vacation.

Comments

Snow Day Snowmen

Snow Day Snowmen

MK readers share pics of their snow-day snowman masterpieces!

Comments

Tax Credits for Summer Camp

Tax Credits for Summer Camp

Learn which camp expenses are tax-deductible.

Comments

MetroKids' 2014 Parenting Media Association Awards

MetroKids' 2014 Parenting Media Association Awards

MetroKids won four 2014 Parenting Media Association editorial awards.

Comments

March Preview

March Preview

Vax facts, picking a preschool and what kid must-see masterpieces at the area's art venues in MetroKids' March 2015 issue

Comments

Edit ModuleShow Tags