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Feb 10, 2012
02:46 PM
MomSpeak

Managing the Age Gap

Managing the Age Gap

My boys are learning to play chess.

I love that… except that one of them is 11 and one of them is 5.

Are you the parent of more than one child? If you are, you know they don't always get along and that's to be expected. But do you have an age gap bigger than 2 years? Or a gender gap — one boy and one girl?

How do you manage these gaps?

I have 2 boys — with very similar interests. My challenge is that they are 6 years apart. I thought sibling squabbles wouldn't be an issue. Boy was I wrong.

The 11-year-old wants to win and play by the rules… all the time. The 5-year-old wants to win too and have fun. Can you hear the bickering?

From the 11-year-old, I hear "No!" "Stop!" "You can't…!" "Don't!" "I win!"

From the 5-year-old, I hear whining, crying and lots of "Not fair!"

I thought sibling squabbles wouldn't be an issue. Boy was I wrong.

I've tried appealing to the 11-year-old's sense of pride in his skills and knowledge and encourage him to "coach" his little brother rather than playing a competitive game — work on skills.

That lasts about 10 minutes if I'm lucky.

I've explained the, "But you are 11 — of course you are better and everyone expects you to win" argument. That works for about 5 minutes.

They are such good boys, with good hearts, and they love each other very much. This is probably my biggest parenting challenge right now and it's driving me to distraction.

What's your trick of the trade for managing the age gap?

Hillary Chybinski is a crafty mom of 2 boys living the American Dream with her husband in the Philly burbs.  This post was adapted from her blog, My Scraps.

Feb 11, 2012 07:56 pm
 Posted by  BATCave

I don't have a gap, I had 3 kids in a 3 year and 3 month span. They still don't get along. Feel better?

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About This Blog

Outstanding Delaware Valley mom and dad bloggers share insights about their kids or themselves, family experiences or ways they handled parenting situations. Their items — often reposted from their blogs — reflect everyday experiences that anyone can relate to rather than political viewpoints or belief systems.

MomSpeak Contributors

Trish Adkins, Yoke
Jennifer Auer, Jersey Family Fun
Chris Bernholdt, DadNCharge
Stacy Heenan Biscardi, Wifty & Shifty
Hillary Chybinski, My Scraps
EJ Curran, Four Little Monsters
Darla DeMorrow, The Pregnant Entrepreneur
Rachée Fagg, Say It Rah-Shay
Raya Fagg, And Starring As Herself…MRSRFKJ
Stephanie Glover, A Grande Life
Erin Flynn Jay, Mastering the Mommy Track
Jean Ladden, Jean's Book Reviews
Brie Latini, ( . . . a breezy life)
Toni Langdon, Tickles and Time Outs
Lisa Lightner, A Day in Our Shoes
Jeanine Ludwikowski, Mommy Entourage
Kathryn M. Martin, Mamacado
Jeanne McCullough, Mom Hearts Pinot
Trina O'Boyle, O’Boy! Organic
Kelly Raudenbush, My Overthinking
Lindsey Schuster, Sisters to Sons
Sandra Telep, West Philly Mama
Marissa Kiepert Truong, Land of Once Upon a Time
Lisa Weinstein, The Mixed Up Brains of Lisa Weinstein
Shivaun Williams, Dar Liomsa (In My Opinion)
Paige Wolf, Spit That Out!

If you are a Philadelphia-area parenting blogger and would like to contribute to MomSpeak, please e-mail editor@metrokids.com.

 

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