Available Now
MetroKids
Bookmark and Share Email this page Email Print this page Print Edit Module
May 12, 2014
06:00 AM
MomSpeak

Single Parent Success

Single Parent Success

Toni and her daughters

Are you wondering how to be a successful single parent? The first question is how do you define success? Having happy kids? Being happy yourself? Being able to pay your bills? Having a good career? Remarrying? 

Having a clear definition of success is extremely important, because otherwise we’re just going through the motions . . . paying our bills, changing diapers, cleaning, working, helping our moms, going out to dinner. . . . You can begin to feel like a robot — and we all feel that way sometimes— but what is it that you really want?

Being a single parent is similar to a wheelbarrow. One parent represents the tiny wheel holding a lot of weight on top and wobbling around like crazy. Paying the household bills with one income is hard for both parents and trying to juggle kids with only two hands is impossible at times. So how do we do it and can we be successful? Here are a few ideas that have helped me:
 

  1. Define success. Take five minutes right now to write down what you want your life to look like.
  2. Ask for help. It takes a village to raise children, and you’re being selfish if you think that your child needs only you. Your child needs a variety of support, ideas and encouragement, and you're delusional if you think you can do it all. If you’re telling me that you do not have any help — stop! You're just giving me an excuse. Make friends who will help you, go to a church or find a way to afford babysitting a few hours here and there.
  3. Stop being a victim. Let’s be real. It’s understandable that you’re angry, but you’re the one in charge of your life. You may have anger at your ex, but the real anger is because you are not happy with where your life is right now and your ex is an easy target. Believe me, I've been there!
  4. Practice gratitude. Maybe your life is not where you wanted it to be when you dreamed of growing up and having a cute little family with a picket fence. But drowning in your sorrow is not going to move you forward.  Write down 10 things every day that are great in your life. Remember, it could always be worse!

Toni Langdon is a single mom of two daughters living in Chester County, PA. Toni is a nonstop mom juggling work, parenting and life. She brings a unique perspective while having a black belt in martial arts, a love for fashion and a passion for giving back. This post is adapted from her blog Tickles and Time Outs

Add your comment:
Edit Module
Advertisement

MomSpeak Contributors

Trish Adkins, Yoke
Jennifer Auer, Jersey Family Fun
Chris Bernholdt, DadNCharge
Stacy Heenan Biscardi, Wifty & Shifty
Hillary Chybinski, My Scraps
EJ Curran, Four Little Monsters
Darla DeMorrow, The Pregnant Entrepreneur
Rachée Fagg, Say It Rah-Shay
Raya Fagg, And Starring As Herself…MRSRFKJ
Erin Flynn Jay, Mastering the Mommy Track
Marion Kase, Helicopter-Caterpillar
Jean Ladden, Jean's Book Reviews
Brie Latini, ( . . . a breezy life)
Toni Langdon, Tickles and Time Outs
Lisa Lightner, A Day in Our Shoes
Jeanine Ludwikowski, Mommy Entourage
Jeanne McCullough, Mom Hearts Pinot
Trina O'Boyle, O’Boy! Organic
Kelly Raudenbush, My Overthinking
Lindsey Schuster, Sisters to Sons
Sandra Telep, West Philly Mama
Marissa Kiepert Truong, Land of Once Upon a Time
Lisa Weinstein, The Mixed Up Brains of Lisa Weinstein
Shivaun Williams, Dar Liomsa (In My Opinion)
Paige Wolf, Spit That Out!

If you are a Philadelphia-area parenting blogger and would like to contribute to MomSpeak, please e-mail editor@metrokids.com.

 

Edit ModuleShow Tags

MomSpeak

The voices of local moms
Stagestruck: Kids & Theater

Stagestruck: Kids & Theater

Why one mom believes performing is a great thing for her kids

Comments

MomSpeak

The voices of local moms
Junior Prom: Crisis Averted

Junior Prom: Crisis Averted

It's snowing on prom night!

Comments

MomSpeak

The voices of local moms
How Kids Can Pay It Forward

How Kids Can Pay It Forward

"Pay it forward" is a great concept to teach kids. It helps to see the kindness-counts plan in action. MomSpeaker Erin Flynn Jay and her girls were recently PIF beneficiaries. Here's her story.  On Thursday, I took my daughters to Stations of the Cross at a church in the...

Comments

Edit ModuleShow Tags

MK Memo

MK Memo: Moms Know
Spring Break Water Safety

Spring Break Water Safety

3 tips on building kids' swim skills and water safety on your spring break vacation.

Comments

Snow Day Snowmen

Snow Day Snowmen

MK readers share pics of their snow-day snowman masterpieces!

Comments

Tax Credits for Summer Camp

Tax Credits for Summer Camp

Learn which camp expenses are tax-deductible.

Comments

MetroKids' 2014 Parenting Media Association Awards

MetroKids' 2014 Parenting Media Association Awards

MetroKids won four 2014 Parenting Media Association editorial awards.

Comments

March Preview

March Preview

Vax facts, picking a preschool and what kid must-see masterpieces at the area's art venues in MetroKids' March 2015 issue

Comments